Blurb:
Can a woman have two great loves in her life?
All it takes is one night for Elizabeth Bennet's life to change forever. Finding herself pregnant with Mr. Darcy's baby, she is forced to make decisions that will have an impact on the rest of not only her life but her family's.
Mr. Darcy, who cannot remember the night in question and therefore does not believe she is carrying his child, soldiers on in his pride and arrogance, until it's too late. There is nothing he can do. She is now married and not only is she unattainable, but so is his son.
Chapter One
Elizabeth
tossed from one side to the other in what was the most comfortable bed she had
ever lain on in her life. Yet, sleep eluded her. Not surprising as she was not
in her own bed. She wasn’t even in her own home. She was in a guest chamber at
Netherfield Park while her eldest sister, Jane, recovered from a dreadful cold.
A cold which could have been averted.
More
than once Lizzy fought down feelings of anger at their mother’s machinations.
Jane had weak lungs following a childhood ailment and this trifling cold, as
her mother had callously called it when she descended upon Netherfield to
ascertain whether Jane should come home or remain, could have taken her
sister’s very life. What was Mama thinking, sending her on horseback, knowing
it would rain? All because of a dinner invitation from Miss Bingley and her
sister, who didn’t give two figs about Jane? Mama knew full well Mr. Bingley
would not be in attendance and had gambled a lot on the health of her eldest
daughter in the hopes of her being entertained by the amiable young man the
next morning. And yet, Jane had not refused.
Lizzy
flipped onto her back and even though the room lay draped in complete darkness,
she stared at the ceiling. This evening was the first time Jane felt well
enough to come downstairs for dinner, much to Mr. Bingley’s delight and Miss
Bingley’s distaste. Although Mr. Bingley had taken such good care of her
beloved sister, ensured her comfort, and made sure she did not catch another
chill, Jane, still fatigued from her illness, had reluctantly signaled her sister
they should excuse themselves from company. Lizzy, herself exhausted, gladly
made their apologies to everyone assembled and then escorted her sister off to
her room.
For
a brief time, as she and Jane discussed the night’s entertainment – and of
course, Mr. Bingley – it was like they were back in their shared bed chamber at
Longbourn. However, her elder sister could not disguise her yawns, so Lizzy had
kissed her cheek goodnight and retreated to her room rather than go back
downstairs. The muted clack of balls let her know the gentleman had retired to
the billiards room and the sound of the pianoforte told her the sisters
remained in the main drawingroom. She had absolutely no desire to spend time
with any of them – save Mr. Bingley.
The
two superior sisters continually disparaged her and her family’s background,
propped up in their beliefs by the condescending manner of their haughty
friend, Mr. Darcy. Lizzy knew exactly where she stood with the taciturn
man from Derbyshire. The first time he’d laid eyes on her, at the local
Assembly, he had declared her tolerable, but not handsome to tempt him. Nothing
in his behavior since indicated a change in his verbal assessment. He probably
thought of her as an unwashed peasant and very likely looked forward to the day
she and Jane scurried home to Longbourn.
She
flipped to her side and then sighed. Although bone tired, sleep continued to
evade her. After three straight days ensuring Jane received the best of care,
she’d run herself ragged. Very likely sleep eluded her because she was
overtired and her mind kept looping in circles, rehashing the disdain of Mr.
Darcy and the lack of civility by his faithful companion, Miss Bingley. If she
were at Longbourn, she would have thought nothing of taking one of Papa’s boring
tomes from his book room and put her mind to rest with something like the
Canterbury Tales, or a pamphlet on four crop rotations.
She
sat up in bed. That would do the trick. She’d sneak down to the library and see
what was tucked away on the ill-used shelves. Decision made, she slipped on her
robe and a pair of slippers, lit the taper, and crept out of her room. The last
thing she needed was for Mr. Darcy to find her roaming the guest wing in
nothing but her nightgown and robe. His already low opinion would sink beyond
all redemption if that happened.
A
quick search, because the library truly was dismal with its offerings, she
curled up on the couch with a book on animal husbandry. She had not even made
it past the second page when her head fell back and she was asleep in front of
the waning fire.
Her
dreams were strangely pleasant, of a man whispering how beautiful she was. He
covered her body with his own and feathered kisses on her neck and across her
bosom. Warm hands caressed her leg from her knee, upward to her inner thigh. On
a soft sigh, her legs fell open naturally and he stroked her in an unfamiliar,
yet intimate manner. The dream was so pleasant, so vivid. She arched her back
when pleasure coursed through her body. It was as though she were actually
being kissed and fondled. It was only when his member entered and pierced her
untried passage that her eyes snapped open to find Mr. Darcy impaling her, over
and over until he expended with a tremor and whispered a name.
Elizabeth.
So
shocked was she, that not a sound escaped her throat. He did not remove
himself, but fell into a deep slumber, still embedded deep within. No matter
how much she struggled and pushed, she could not move him. The smell of brandy
was strong on his breath and she knew he had no idea he’d violated her in such
a grievous manner. She became frantic when the door to the library opened and
Mr. Bingley entered with a laugh.
“Darcy!
I say, we have to get you to bed old man. You can’t sleep down here…”
His
mouth dropped open when he came upon them. Lizzy pleaded with her eyes for him
to turn around. Her legs and lower body were fully exposed. There was no hiding
what had occurred. Mr. Bingley turned a dull red and with eyes partially
closed, began a clumsy approach. It became obvious he meant to raise Mr. Darcy,
but he was a large man and out cold. Lifting deadweight was no easy feat.
“Mr.
Bingley,” she gasped out as her lungs were compressed by Mr. Darcy’s weight.
“You need only raise him a little. I will try and slide out.”
Mortified
almost beyond reason, she gave silent thanks when he nodded his acceptance of
her suggestion. He then sidestepped to the couch, grabbed Mr. Darcy about the
upper chest and shoulders, and gave a might heave. Lizzy scrambled as best she
could, almost whimpering at the burning sensation when she felt that
portion of Mr. Darcy withdraw from her body. She swallowed her cries and fell
to the floor. Mr. Bingley lowered the still sleeping Mr. Darcy and sought to
lend her a hand, dropping it to his side with an apology when she reared back
in fright.
She
scrambled backward in an attempt to gain distance from not only the couch but
also Mr. Bingley’s mortification and couldn’t help but wince at the
unaccustomed pain at the juncture between her thighs.
“Please,
I beg you, Mr. Bingley. Do not tell anyone of this. I want nothing from Mr.
Darcy.”
“He
violated you Miss Elizabeth and must be held accountable.”
“No.
He had no idea what he was doing.” She shook her head, her curls bouncing
around her shoulders, making her look even more vulnerable. “I will not trap
him into a loveless marriage. I cannot do that to him, or me.”
“What
if there are… consequences?”
“I
will not borrow trouble unless required.” She clumsily got to her feet,
mortified to find her nightgown bloodstained. Mr. Bingley handed her a throw
which she wrapped around her shoulders.
“If
my help is required, you must advise me so that I can be your witness
and tell my friend what occurred.”
“Thank
you for your kindness. I… I must go.”
“Miss
Elizabeth,” he began, but she had already fled the room.
He
turned to look at his friend, face down on the couch.
“You’ve
gone and done it now, Darce.”
~~~
Lizzy
watched from the chair she had dragged to the window as the sun rose the next
morning, casting its weak winter rays over a frost covered garden. She remained
huddled in the blanket Mr. Bingley gave her before she fled the library. Her
gaze never wavered from the vista spread before her, not even when the maid
came to start a fire.
“You’re
up early, Miss Elizabeth.”
She
dragged her gaze from the window, looked over her shoulder at the young girl,
and tried to smile. Tried to behave normal. No one could ever know what
happened.
“I
found I could not sleep, Hannah.”
“Can
I draw you a bath, Miss?”
“Yes,
please”
She
remained seated until the maid left and then stood. The blanket fell to the
floor, followed by her soiled nightgown and robe which puddled around her feet.
Calmly, she stepped out of the pile of clothing, walked to the fireplace, and
ripped the two articles of clothing into the strips before feeding them to the
fire. She then wrapped the blanket around her now naked body and waited in the
chair for bath water to arrive.
Two
hours later, her hair had dried enough to begin pinning it up. A light knock on
her door made her start and gasp. Surely, it couldn’t be him. Heart
racing, she called out and almost sighed out loud in relief when Jane poked her
head around the corner.
“It
seems strange for us to have separate rooms.”
“Yes,
but tomorrow we shall be back to Longbourn and our normal life.” As normal as
it ever will be, she thought.
“You
know Mama will not be pleased we are returning to Longbourn after services. She
expected us to stay a full week, at least.”
“Mama
needs to learn decorum,” Lizzy snapped. “She thrust us into this viper’s den
without a thought to our reputations.”
“Lizzy!
Whatever could you mean?” Jane’s eyes widened in surprise. “With Mr. Bingley’s
sisters in residence, our reputations are far from being tarnished.”
“Regardless
of how proper we both behave, how do you think this whole escapade looks, Jane?
Sending you on horseback when it was obvious there would be rain? I know at the
time Mama thought you would spend only one evening, see Mr. Bingley the next
morning and return to Longbourn unscathed. But even that is manipulative and
does not show us in a favorable light.”
By
this time Jane had begun braiding and pinning up her hair. She looked at Lizzy
through the mirror.
“You
are distraught and I can see the fatigue in your eyes. It looks as though you
have not slept in days.”
“I
did not sleep at all last night.”
“My
poor sister. This has been almost as hard on you as it was me.”
Lizzy
caught herself up, determined to put on a more cheerful face. Jane did not need
to be dragged down because of her. This was her sister’s last full day of being
in Mr. Bingley’s company and it had to count. Something good had to come out of
this nightmare she currently lived. With that purpose in mind, she turned in
her chair to face her sister.
“Thank
you, Jane, for being the best sister a girl could ever have.”
“You
are maudlin this morning. Let us go break our fast and start a new day.”
“Yes.”
She stood and smoothed down her skirt. “A new day.”
Although
she had every intention of behaving in a normal manner, she found herself
clinging to Jane like a limpet, starting at every sound. Even Miss Bingley’s
sniping did not raise her ire and as soon as it was humanly possible, she fled
to the garden. She found herself in the wood which bordered the grounds of
Netherfield, located a comfortable stump to sit on, and lost herself in thought.
It was only when she couldn’t stop shivering from the cold air, did she rise to
her feet and made her way back to the house.
Like
a wraith, she stayed to the shadows and moved to the main staircase. Mr.
Bingley came upon her and asked if she’d be joining them for dinner, but when
he saw the pallor of her skin and eyes wide with fear, he gave a polite bow and
told her not to worry, he’d have someone bring her meal to her room. She almost
wept in front of him for his kindness.
On
the Sabbath, a mere two days following the incident, several carriages were
used to transport all of the Netherfield party to church. She made sure she was
in the conveyance that did not have Mr. Darcy within.
The
carriages pulled to a stop and when their door opened, Mr. Bingley was
immediately at the foot of the small steps to hand Jane out. When her turn
came, she absentmindedly accepted Mr. Bingley’s hand, only to find it was Mr.
Darcy who stood at the door. She took a step backward and almost fell into the
carriage when the back of her leg struck the folding stairs.
His
reflexes quick, Mr. Darcy grabbed her arm and held her steady.
“Are
you well, Miss Elizabeth?”
She
could not answer. Her eyes were locked with his and her throat worked to find
words, but none came. Mr. Bingley, seeing her distress, stepped smoothly
between her and Mr. Darcy.
“Forgive
me, Miss Elizabeth. I was quite rude to leave you to your own devices.” He
turned and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Good thing you were here to
lend a hand, Darcy. Shall we go to services now?”
Miss
Bingley latched onto Mr. Darcy’s arm, her head held high as he escorted her
into the building, followed by her sister and husband. Mr. Bingley moved a few
feet away and waited for Jane, whom Elizabeth took aside.
“Make
my apologies to… I am going to walk home.”
“I
would argue with you, Lizzy if I could not see with my own eyes that you are
truly unwell. I do so hope you did not catch my cold.”
“No,
nothing like that. I slept ill again last night and now have a terrible
headache. What I need most is my own bed and some of Hill’s willow tea.”
“I
shall inform Papa and check on you as soon as I can.”
Later
in the day, Mama came into her room and upbraided her for making Jane leave
Netherfield too early. Her complaints were long and vociferous. She’d fully
expected them to stay the week complete and cast dire warnings that if Mr.
Bingley did not ask Jane to marry him, the fault lay squarely on Elizabeth’s shoulders.
The Lizzy of before might have made some saucy remarks. However, the Elizabeth
which had returned from Netherfield let her mother’s grievances fall about her
shoulders without uttering a word.
The
next morning brought no further relief, only astonishment as Papa revealed with
much glee, his distant cousin would descend upon Longbourn at four o’clock that
afternoon.
“Is
this the cousin who will inherit Longbourn, Papa?” Jane asked.
“Oh!
– that wretched man should not be allowed to cross our threshold before his
time. He’s probably coming to catalog all the silver and valuables. I’ll have
Hill lock away the pieces that I brought with me to the marriage. He has no
right to them.” Mama cried out and fanned herself with a handkerchief.
“I
think he is coming here for more than surveying his future inheritance, I
believe his extension of an olive branch means he wishes to select a wife from
our daughters.” Papa mused out loud.
“Do
you truly think that?” Mama could not hide the hopefulness in her voice. “We
are saved!”
“Now,
now, Mrs. Bennet. Do not put the cart before the horse. He may come here and
not wish to marry any of our girls. We all know the path to love is sometimes a
rocky road.”
“Don’t
be foolish, Mr. Bennet. Of course, he will wish to marry one of our girls, and
what a fine thing that will be. Jane will marry Mr. Bingley and Lizzy will wed
Mr. Collins.”
“We
shall find out soon enough. He wrote that he will arrive at precisely four
o’clock.”
And,
he did.
Mr.
Collins punctual to his time was received with great politeness by the whole
family. Mr. Bennet, indeed, said little; but the ladies were ready enough to
talk, and Mr. Collins seemed neither in need of encouragement, nor inclined to
be silent himself. He was a tall, heavy-looking young man of five and twenty.
His air was grave and stately, and his manners were very formal.
Upon
entry to the family parlor, he turned to Mama.
“Mrs.
Bennet, may I compliment you on having so fine a family of daughters. I had
heard much of their beauty, but in this instance, fame has fallen short of the
truth.”
“You
are so kind, Mr. Collins,” Mama tittered like a schoolgirl.
“I
do not doubt you will see them all in due time well disposed of in marriage.”
“Yes,
indeed. In fact, our eldest Jane is very nearly engaged to a young man at a
neighboring estate.”
Mr.
Collins’s shoulders slumped and Lizzy, who’d sequestered herself in a corner
near the fireplace knew he felt keen disappointment. She had not missed the way
his eyes had roamed in a lascivious manner over her sister’s form. For once she
was glad of Mama’s propensity to spout an engagement which had not even been
broached by the anticipated pair.
Mama
lowered her voice and she could not hear the rest of their conversation, but
when Mr. Collins turned his hound dog gaze in her direction, she felt ill. As
planned before he arrived, Mama diverted his attention to her least deserving
daughter.
It
was going to be a long two weeks.